I hate thinking of titles... :S

Lately I have been thinking about what we are going to do when he gets back and we go back to Jacksonville. I would love to be able to get a house instead of an apartment. I hate having no space and, sometimes, little privacy, and not having a backyard or my own parking space. Just little things, but also the fact that some houses have even cheaper monthly payments than an apartment! And they still look really cute. I was looking on hotpads a while ago, first for rent, then I decided to switch it to sales. I found such a cute house in the Argyle Forest area, which I like, for sale that is only $512 a month. It's a 2 bedroom 2 bath and 1040 sq feet. I realize that by the time we get back there that there is a small chance it will still be available, but at least I am seeing that there is some opportunity there. And I think I will continue to keep an eye on that area, and as the time gets closer I will start trying to make a decision. I need to talk to Mark about this first of course, but I think it's a good idea. I need to talk to my mom about it also, I need more information on how to go about buying a home. And then I can determine how long I will need to go back home when he gets back to look at the house(s) and make a decision and start doing paperwork.

I really hope we can get a home. At first I was just wanting to rent a home, mainly because we don't know how long we will be in Jacksonville. But Mark was saying if we get a home he would want to buy because he doesn't like the fact of paying for something that we will never own. Which makes sense, but at the same time we will never own it completely anyway. It's going to be our first home, you never stay in your first home forever, plus I don't want to live in Florida forever. I want to come back home to Texas. So yea, it's going to require a lot of thinking and communication, but I think it's a good idea.

So I have GOT to start getting this weight off, like seriously. I would love to lose at least 50 lbs by the time he comes home. I know when you think 50 lbs in 5 months it sounds impossible. But I just have a hard time seeing it as being impossible. When you break it down, there is about 4.5 to 5 weeks in a month. So that would make it about 2-3 pounds a week. Making it around 10 lbs a month, and to me that just doesn't sound that bad. It just takes a lot of discipline and hard work. Which is not easy for me, but I guess even if I don't reach 50 lbs, even 30 would be good enough for me. I won't stop there of course because either way I still need to lose to get to what I want to be. I just have to do it!!!!

I don't have much more to say since I was just here yesterday. Ciao.

One month down....

5 more to go! You know 5 months really isn't long at all. On my "donut of mysery" it says the remaining time is only 21 weeks.. that seems like nothing! I can't wait till it's only like a few days... I can't wait till it's time to buy my plane ticket back to Jax to greet him! Ugh... I get excited just thinking about it. It'll come quick I know it.

So I've kinda started with my bow-tique. :) I've made about 5 bows and a flower clippie. Just for starters, I just today ordered the rest of the supplies I'll need. So hopefully it gets here soon so I can really start. And people are already liking them also. My cousin sort of advertised me on Facebook and a few girls were asking about them and when I will start selling. So I already have some interested customers. I'm sure it'll take me a while to be very good at it, but the ones I've made are pretty good for beginner bows. So I'm excited about that, and this thing all coming together. Hopefully I can make this money back that I spent for everything. :S Hopefully Mark won't have a shitfit about it, he shouldn't though! I told him all about this and that when we get paid all I want is to buy my bow stuff and that's it, I wouldn't spend any money on myself for clothes or anything. So he better not be!

I can't wait to go to Illinois next week. One week left, wow. I finally get to see my grandpa, been 2 years, and him and grandma Andy and Jessica will all get to meet Joseph for the first time. It's exciting. Everyone adores him. Jessica can't wait to meet him. And it's just so relaxing there, I love being there. You sort of feel like you have no worries. Idk, at least I did last time I was there, but then again I will still only 18 and pretty much didn't really have very many worries. So yea... I guess that's not accurate. But it will be fun anyway.

Well, let's see what Mark yells at me about tomorrow. :) Just kidding. I hope he calls cuz he didn't call today. I love him, I miss him. :( Come home!!!

Dear deployment, you freakin suck.....

Well I hadn't talked to Mark since tuesday. He wasn't able to call for 3 days until today, and what did we do the whole time we talked, BOTH TIMES, argue!!! Ugh, it was bullshit. I got a tattoo tuesday, which he knew I had been planning to get since months ago, but since I didn't tell him I was getting it THAT DAY while I was talking to him, I was in the wrong. Which, I didn't know I was getting it that day until later on when I found out it was the only day the girl could do it. And I understand why he was upset, but it ruined our whole day of talking to eachother. All we did was argue, and he made me seem like a bitch, not having to do with the tattoo situation, just for other things. And that made me so mad. Then he threw in how everyone else thinks I'm so mean too, not just him. Well he needs to really stop doing things like that. He does that a lot. Just because you're mad at me don't bring other people into it. Blah, today just sucked very bad. That's all.

Anyway, I did get my tattoo. One of my tattoos that I am getting while I'm home. It came out so pretty. It is a cherry blossom tree with the word LOVE written underneath. I love it so much! And it was only 40 bucks! I can't wait to get my other one.

Also, I'm so excited. I made a plan for myself. I am going to start making bows and headbands and little beanies and stuff like for little girls. I have never tried making them before but on payday I am going to buy some of the supplies and just test it out and see if it's as easy as it looks. I looked up and saved a bunch of tutorials on youtube, so I have that. Then I'm going to sell them online and maybe see if people at my mom's work have babies or know anyone with babies. I can't wait. Hopefully I get some good profit from doing that. And they are so freakin cute so since I love hair accessories I will probably keep a few of them for myself. :)

Well I better go, Joey is being crazy right now. Bed time. Ciao. <3

How do you do it, make me feel like I do......

So lately Joey has been meeting so many milestones... it makes me so excited! He FINALLY rolled over from his back to his tummy today without help, twice! I was so happy. He is also sitting up now by himself. He is still a little wobbly sometimes, today he fell over and hurt himself on his toy. But he's ok. He is also eating baby food more regularly now. He is not liking a lot of the vegetables, but hopefully he'll get used to them. OH and!.. he is starting to stand also. If I stand him up and put him up against my legs or against the couch he will stand there for a little while. The jumper I got him is really helping his leg muscles get strong. He's making me so proud! :) My little munchkin. < 3

Mark just found out today he is getting moved to a different site. Which sucks for me because I don't think I'll be able to talk to him everyday like I do right now. Also his pay is not going to be as much there, the per diem is going from $55 a day or so where he is now, to like $3 or $5 a day. He will begin to get hazard pay which he doesn't get right now but still. I guess our plan to have extra saved money when he comes home is shot! Ugh. As long as we're able to rid of our debts then I guess that's the most important thing. Plus he is going to be getting a better income tax next year right after he gets home so we still have that to look forward to at least. He isn't leaving until late July though, so we still have another month of the good per diem at least.

Well I should head out. Be back soon.....

Such a disgrace..

Things are going good with me and Mark. He is starting the real thing tomorrow, 12 on 12 off days everyday. Hopefully I can still talk to him everyday. If not then I GUESS it won't be a horrible thing, it would be good for us, so we can be more excited when we finally see each other. Speaking of which, I am still going to try to go see him sometime before school starts, sometime during July or August after we get back from Illinois. I hope I can!

Joey is doing so good. He's sitting up now! <333 He can sit up for quite a while by himself, sometimes he'll lose his balance and fall over but for the most part he's so good at it. He's still not rolling over :( but I'm sure he'll get it soon, hopefully. He's just lazy, hehe.

Well my birthday was this past Sunday. What a day... my first surprise of the day (2 am) was of my mom waking me up to tell me my dad is gone because he was caught on the phone with someone, making this the 2nd time he has cheated on her (that she has proof of.) He left in anger and she threw his stuff out. So the whole day was just about that, I didn't have much of a birthday. Which I wouldn't even care, if it wasn't for the reason that it was. Now he is moved out and my mom is never taking him back and he is now filing for divorce. It is all happening so quick, it's hard to believe sometimes. I hate that this is all happening while I am here, but at the same time I'm glad, because my mom would be having SOO much more of a harder time if I weren't here to help her and be here for her to talk to and vent to. So I don't know what's going to happen next, it's just day by day right now. I hope things don't get really ugly. I hope they remember I do have a son here.

Anyway, pray for us... my mom mainly. We need it.

It's on!

Well I woke up to a "She's Everything" by Brad Paisley playing on my phone. Guess that what that meant.... Mark was my wake up call!! That was so nice to hear his voice, especially since I didn't get a call yesterday. He promised he would call me tonight (well it will be about 5pm here, but midnight for him) to say goodnight. He told me about his day yesterday and how they went out in the town of Catania. He said that the people there drive very crazy. There are basically no rules people just do what they please. And no cops to stop them. Which kind of scares me, hopefully he doesn't get hurt driving around out there. Anyway, he likes it, I can't wait till he gets his camera and laptop so he can send me pictures. I want to see how it is there. He said the base is close to a volcano, apparently you can see it from there, and you can even see smoke coming out of it. That's awesome.

I just signed up online a few minutes ago for Planet Fitness. I need to stop putting it off. So I got my membership now, and I want to start today. I can ask my grandma to watch the baby. I hate leaving him so whenever I do go I think I'm gonna give myself an hour maybe hour and a half each time. Which will go by fast. I don't want to be apart from him very long ever. I end up missing him too much even though initially I feel like it's good to have a break, I just can't do it for long. :) Love that little boy of mine! Well, just wanted to update on that. My 5 month weight loss journey begins today! Wish me luck!!!

Dear Deployment, I hate you....

Well, the title explains it all. Daddy is now on deployment, and it sucks! But we are getting through. It was hard to say goodbye, but I don't feel that sad. I guess because I know 6 months is a breeze. I just hope that everything goes well during the 6 months and nothing happens to jeopardize our marriage. I trust him, but there's always that little worry in the back of your mind that something can happen. So far he says he likes it. He has been working and then working out after work everyday. That's good for him I guess it keeps him busy, I just don't want him to overwork himself. I need to start going to the gym.. I need to stop saying I need to go and just go. But I don't really know how much I will have pay at the initial activation. So.. now I just wait until the 15th and I will finally get a membership, no more excuses, I promise! I refuse to look the same way I looked when he left when he gets back. I want him to come home and be proud of the wife that is there to welcome him home.

Anyway, little Joseph is getting so big. He actually came home 2 days after my last post. He is 6 months now.. I can't believe it! My little man is growing up too fast, :). Daddy misses him so much. I can't wait until he can get a laptop and use skype so he can see him. Well, I am really going to keep up with this now because I am turning this into my deployment journal. So I'll be back soon.

We love you and miss you!