I could really use a wish right now.....

A lot has gone down since I was last here. Illinois was fun... the ride to and from definitely wasn't, but actually being there was nice. I was happy to see my grandpa and grandma and also Bea and Jessica. I was so proud of my Joey the whole time, he did so well. He also started getting his first tooth while we were there. He is now getting his 2nd, right next to that one. So cute!

We came back home and I had decided that I was for sure going to move in with Priscilla because I couldn't take it anymore, being around my mom and her problems and all of the drama going on the in the house. I didn't have my set day yet but I knew I wanted to soon. Well within the first week my mom messed up bad enough to make me leave. Too much to explain but I am done with it all. I have pretty much completely cut my dad out of my life. I want nothing to do with him ever, don't want to talk to him, don't want to see him, nothing. And I'm fine with it right now, I can live without him. So I came to stay with Priscilla, and so far I like it here. It's a little hard keeping Joey out of trouble, he's becoming so mischievous now.

Mark is in Africa now. He is still able to call me pretty often which I am happy about. I miss him so much. :(

Oh yea! I was FINALLY able to register for my classes. I'm so excited. At least my financial aid should be a little extra money for me. I am going to take Intermediate Algebra, Introduction to Sociology, General Psychology, and Elementary Spanish. Math and Sociology will be in class and the other 2 I am taking online. I hope I can do it! I hope I'm not overdoing it. Wish me luck!!!

Oh and Jennifer's sister has found a good job she wants to take, so I will be her official babysitter starting next week. Her mom is going to be paying me. It will be $150 a week for the first 2 weeks which is her training, and then $120 a week after that. I can't wait.. more extra moneys :). I hate waking up but that's not a big deal, I have to do it so whatever.

Well that's whats been going on lately. Hopefully things with my mom get a little better, counseling starts next week so I have that to look forward to as well. Ciao.

Remember when......

Tomorrow morning we are leaving to Illinois. I SHOULD be sleeping by now, especially since I am in charge of driving most of the way. But of course I can never fall asleep early anymore. I just can't wait to get there, it's going to be very nice. I love being there, no worries.

I haven't talked to Mark since Tuesday, I miss him so much. I just can't wait for this deployment to be over already. I want him back. I still don't even know if he got his package yet. I just miss his smell, and I miss our stupid arguments, and I miss picking up after him, and I miss his mirror messages after he takes a shower :), I miss his kisses, and I miss seeing him with Joseph, I miss sleeping with him every night, and waiting for his call that he's ready to be picked up from work, and every time he worked so hard to cook a good dinner when he was off, I miss his jokes, and seeing him play with Lucy around the apartment, and I miss his hugs. :( I better stop, I might start crying. At least I get to see him everyday in this beautiful son of ours, who looks just like his daddy. I can't wait to see him again. For now I just can't wait to talk to him again. Sometimes when we go a few days without talking it feels like months. .........I love you so much Mark. :(



Well Joseph just woke up crying.. he wants me to come lay down with him, so I better get to it. < 3

My tattoo won't stop itching....

I finally got my little booger down for a nap, so now I can update. So my 4th of July was pretty fun. Well the whole first part of the day, I did what I normally do; I just sat around the house most of the day. Then Priscilla invited me to go with her and her brother to Sea World for the fireworks show. So me and Joey went. I invited Veronica also because she was gonna be the only one home that night all bored. I was free for military but I thought I was gonna have to pay for her, come to find out I could get her in free also. That was awesome. We went pretty late so we didn't get to do a whole lot. We got on the Great White and I mustered up some courage and got on the Steel Eel. I wasn't even thinking about it, then once the ride started I was freaking out. Ha.. I'm such a puss. It wasn't horrible, I've been on it before but I was so scared. Ugh I just hate that feeling. Anyway, then we waited for the fireworks to start, it was a nice show. Then it was a bitch getting out of there and getting out of the parking lot. Nice night.

Mark still hasn't gotten his package. Well as of yesterday at least. I hope he gets it today. I really can't wait to be able to start talking to him. Well as long as he actually uses it.

I NEED to get Joey's shots, crap. I'm like a month late. I'm gonna go tomorrow for sure.

I also need to start getting stuff ready for our Illinois trip. I mean I guess I can get all the packing done the day before. We don't need that much stuff. But I need to use my WIC and go get all my formula. Blah... I don't think I have much to talk about. I'm bored.

I hate thinking of titles... :S

Lately I have been thinking about what we are going to do when he gets back and we go back to Jacksonville. I would love to be able to get a house instead of an apartment. I hate having no space and, sometimes, little privacy, and not having a backyard or my own parking space. Just little things, but also the fact that some houses have even cheaper monthly payments than an apartment! And they still look really cute. I was looking on hotpads a while ago, first for rent, then I decided to switch it to sales. I found such a cute house in the Argyle Forest area, which I like, for sale that is only $512 a month. It's a 2 bedroom 2 bath and 1040 sq feet. I realize that by the time we get back there that there is a small chance it will still be available, but at least I am seeing that there is some opportunity there. And I think I will continue to keep an eye on that area, and as the time gets closer I will start trying to make a decision. I need to talk to Mark about this first of course, but I think it's a good idea. I need to talk to my mom about it also, I need more information on how to go about buying a home. And then I can determine how long I will need to go back home when he gets back to look at the house(s) and make a decision and start doing paperwork.

I really hope we can get a home. At first I was just wanting to rent a home, mainly because we don't know how long we will be in Jacksonville. But Mark was saying if we get a home he would want to buy because he doesn't like the fact of paying for something that we will never own. Which makes sense, but at the same time we will never own it completely anyway. It's going to be our first home, you never stay in your first home forever, plus I don't want to live in Florida forever. I want to come back home to Texas. So yea, it's going to require a lot of thinking and communication, but I think it's a good idea.

So I have GOT to start getting this weight off, like seriously. I would love to lose at least 50 lbs by the time he comes home. I know when you think 50 lbs in 5 months it sounds impossible. But I just have a hard time seeing it as being impossible. When you break it down, there is about 4.5 to 5 weeks in a month. So that would make it about 2-3 pounds a week. Making it around 10 lbs a month, and to me that just doesn't sound that bad. It just takes a lot of discipline and hard work. Which is not easy for me, but I guess even if I don't reach 50 lbs, even 30 would be good enough for me. I won't stop there of course because either way I still need to lose to get to what I want to be. I just have to do it!!!!

I don't have much more to say since I was just here yesterday. Ciao.

One month down....

5 more to go! You know 5 months really isn't long at all. On my "donut of mysery" it says the remaining time is only 21 weeks.. that seems like nothing! I can't wait till it's only like a few days... I can't wait till it's time to buy my plane ticket back to Jax to greet him! Ugh... I get excited just thinking about it. It'll come quick I know it.

So I've kinda started with my bow-tique. :) I've made about 5 bows and a flower clippie. Just for starters, I just today ordered the rest of the supplies I'll need. So hopefully it gets here soon so I can really start. And people are already liking them also. My cousin sort of advertised me on Facebook and a few girls were asking about them and when I will start selling. So I already have some interested customers. I'm sure it'll take me a while to be very good at it, but the ones I've made are pretty good for beginner bows. So I'm excited about that, and this thing all coming together. Hopefully I can make this money back that I spent for everything. :S Hopefully Mark won't have a shitfit about it, he shouldn't though! I told him all about this and that when we get paid all I want is to buy my bow stuff and that's it, I wouldn't spend any money on myself for clothes or anything. So he better not be!

I can't wait to go to Illinois next week. One week left, wow. I finally get to see my grandpa, been 2 years, and him and grandma Andy and Jessica will all get to meet Joseph for the first time. It's exciting. Everyone adores him. Jessica can't wait to meet him. And it's just so relaxing there, I love being there. You sort of feel like you have no worries. Idk, at least I did last time I was there, but then again I will still only 18 and pretty much didn't really have very many worries. So yea... I guess that's not accurate. But it will be fun anyway.

Well, let's see what Mark yells at me about tomorrow. :) Just kidding. I hope he calls cuz he didn't call today. I love him, I miss him. :( Come home!!!