Day 5::

A picture of somewhere I have been to.








Chicago!!! I loved it there, even though I was only there for a weekend, it was pretty awesome. I really hope to go there again someday. We went there for Mark's graduation from boot camp. But.... next year I will most likely be able to say I've been to Italy! :) Can't wait for that one.

Day 4::

A habit that I wish I didn’t have.


Well, I guess one that I really hate is getting worked up very easily. Sometimes people can say something and I don't answer back calmly, I snap back all crazy. I guess if it's something that offends me or if someone is accusing me of something, I just very defensive right away instead of trying to answer or talk about it calmly first. That is very annoying to me. I do it all the time, but after I do it I'm like gosh shut up what's wrong with you. I've been trying to not do that lately, especially when I'm talking to Mark.

Day 3::

Post a picture of you and your friends. This is actually a tough one because my friends and I don't ever take pictures together. The last ones I have of us are from like 2 years ago right before I moved to Florida. So I will have to post those ones. I love these girls with all my heart. They have been my best friends since 6th grade and I will always consider them to be closest to me, even though the years that have gone by and the adults we have become to be have changed us a little, but throughout all that we are still always there for eachother. No matter how different we become or how far apart we have to be they will always be my best friends. :) < 3

Day 2::

The reason behind my blog name...

That's an easy answer. Dear Deployment, I hate you..

Just what it says, I hate deployment. Mark went on deployment at the beginning of June, and I didn't start this blog at that time, but that's when I changed the name to this one. He will be back soon and then I will be able to change the name!

We love our Navy man!

Day 1::

A recent picture of myself and 15 interesting facts.... eek I hope I can make it to 15.





1 - I am a Navy wife.
2 - My favorite color is always changing. I don't think I really have one favorite color, it's usually a mix of colors that I like together or something.
3 - I have an amazing little boy who makes me smile every day.
4 - I am addicted to the computer, even though I usually have nothing to do on it most of the time.
5 - I am actually excited to be back in school.
6 - My favorite food is probably hot cheetos.
7 - I also freakin love candy.
8 - Mark and I have been together for over 6 years now, I think it was meant to be. <3
9 - I plan to have at least 1 more child, and I am hoping it is a girl, but if not then I will try one more time. :)
10 - I love scary movies but I hate being scared.
11 - I hate bugs, no matter what they are, especially if it is flying.
12 - I plan on being a better wife when we get back into our own lives in Jacksonville.
13 - I don't have many friends, but of the few that are closest to me, I would never trade them for the world.
14 - I am very determined when it comes to carrying out my goals for the future.
15 - I prefer being an adult to a teenager, but there are still times that I wish life didn't come with so many responsibilities.

30 day challenge

I think this is going to be pretty fun.

I need something to keep me into this thing. :)

Here are the daily prompts for 30 days of me:



day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself



day 2- the meaning behind you blog name



day 3- a picture of you and your friends



day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have



day 5- a picture of somewhere youve been to



day 6- favorite super hero and why



day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you



day 8- short term goals for this month and why



day 9- something youre proud of in the past few days



day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad



day 11- another picture of you and your friends



day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one



day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently



day 14- a picture of you and your family



day 15- put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play



day 16- another picture of yourself



day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why



day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have



day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them



day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future



day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy



day 22- what makes you different from everyone else



day 23- something you crave for a lot



day 24- a letter to your parents



day 25- what I would find in your bag



day 26- what do you think about your friends



day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge



day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?



day 29- in this past month, what have you learned



day 30- you favorite song

And there's no one that comes close to you...

I started school this week. I am very happy. This is something I needed, definitely. It sucks having to leave my little one for 3 hours, but it is also nice to get a break now and then. And in the end this is all for him. :) I had to start my online classes on Monday, Spanish and Psychology. I was pretty nervous about both. Spanish seems like it is pretty simple though, but I am scared to do the oral assignments :S. Ha. Psychology also doesn't seem TOO hard as long as I keep up with the assignments, but it is definitely going to be plenty of reading and writing. I also feel like I am not smart or .. deep-thinking.. enough for that class. But I'm sure I'll do fine.

And then yesterday was my first day of campus classes, Math and Sociology. They too I think will be pretty simple as long as I keep up with my assignments. Well math is always easy for me once I get the hang of it. I don't think sociology will be a whole lot of writing, but it does seem like it will be a little fun.

Joseph has been a little sick the last 2 days. :( He has a cold. My poor baby. I am also babysitting again for today. Stephanie has a few places to apply at. So hopefully she gets something soon, and then I can have a job again! :)

Ok I better go Melody just woke up from her nap. Time to get off.

It's a fuel to the fire that should never burn

School starts in just over a week.. how exciting. I bought some of my school supplies and a few of my books already. I also found out I got an easy Spanish teacher so that's very much a relief. :)

So far my diet is going pretty well. Not really moving as fast as I'd like but I'm also not pushing myself AS hard as I did in the past. I have still lost and I'm ok with the progress I have so far. I haven't been very hungry at all lately either, which makes me feel happy. I hope it continues.

I can't even concentrate. Veronica has gotten me in love with this guy's voice, Jonny Craig. She listens to him a lot and I've always been interested but never actually sat down and listened. So I finally downloaded the cd, and I love it. It's pretty addicting.

I finally decided it was time to stop putting my feelings on hold for my dad, and emailed him. It was a very long and in depth letter. I got everything out that I have been wanting to say to him. I was waiting for him to finally come to me so I could do it but he never did. And it wasn't good for me holding it in for so long, it was constantly eating at me, all my feelings that I wanted him to know. So I had to do it. At the end I said not to respond to me by email, and that if this was really important to him he will come to me the right way to get things right with me again. I also warned him that even if he does, I still may not be able to forgive right away, but I will respect him for finally coming to me. It will definitely take me a long time to let this go.

Ugh.. I need to find a damn counselor already.

I guess I'm done.. having lunch with Mari in a bit. Subway.. yay!

I left you with one promise

The last few days have been swell, for the most part. Mark and I had a little trouble along the way but it's over with for now. He is VERY adamant about me getting some of this weight off. And I am for sure but I don't want him to be nagging me about it. It makes me feel like crap. But whatever. I have now REALLY started doing it. I've been working out at home a lot and I got Joey's forward facing stroller so I get to start using that now and taking him to the duck pond. Cilla said 3 times around the duck pond is a mile so if I did about 4 miles there and then to and from her house is a mile in all so that will be 5 miles! I'm excited to start that. I was going to go walking today but by the time I finished my dinner it was already getting close to getting dark and I don't want to walk in the dark alone. Oh yea and I started my diet up again. Today was day 1 and so far I feel great. I feel a little hungry right now but I can deal. I have drank a lot of water already and will drink one more bottle before I go to sleep tonight. I can't wait to see what results I have at the end of the week. Hopefully this diet works as good as it did the last time I did it. But I worked out a lot a lot that time, so I need to for sure get my working out in.

I got my financial aid stuff situated as well. I am so happy this is coming together and school is getting closer. My financial aid was a little off from a fee that shouldn't have been there. With that fee I would have probably gotten about 100 or so back after my classes got paid for. But I fixed it all today and if I am seeing correctly I should get almost 2000 back after classes are paid. I don't want to count on that though so I am saying at least 1000. But checks get mailed out this Friday so we'll see. That would be AWESOME, whether it's 1000 or 2000, both would be so nice. Classes start in 2 weeks. I can't wait!

Well, a lot has also been going on with my dad. Not involving me but just a lot of bull. I am so tired of him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself and his bitch. I hope they both get what they deserve. He is a very pathetic person to pick his whore over his kids. I hate him and could care less what happens to him at this point. If he EVER decides to finally try to sit and have a long talk with me and get everything out and let me get everything out to him, maybe I can forgive him, but right now he could go on with his life and I'll go on with mine, without each other. It does make me sad, I don't want him in my life, but I do at the same time. He's my dad, but I don't choose to call him my dad anymore, he doesn't deserve to be my dad. I deserve a much better dad than that. A dad doesn't do what he did, he doesn't mistreat his childrens' mother the way he did. He doesn't deserve the title of dad.

That's all. ... this suddenly turned into an angry journal. Oh well.